Sunday, March 11, 2012

Such a Simple Thing   

Honestly, it can take so little to make me happy. I planned a day out doing errands and got a bit of a late start. It's spring and I had several "man chores" that needed doing on our rather large city lot. I spent too much of the day mending a hundred yards or so of our ramshackle fence and ended up near blisters and full of dust and dirt and literally had twigs stuck in my hair. So shower, shave, face and hair seemed to take forever. Undaunted (well, daunted but determined) I headed out to catch my favorite wig lady before she closed shop. I've known Kathy for many years but she hadn't seen me en full femme for almost 15 years. I went in and was greeted with a warm hug and a bout of reciprocal, "Don't you look great!" comments. We talked about hair and mutual friends and how I need to order another wig like what I was wearing even though it's been discontinued. At one point she said that she had seen me pull up and get out of my car but hadn't recognized me. She said that part of it was that she didn't "read me" as trans because I just looked like any other woman coming in to the shop. I almost teared up and told her that it was just about the nicest thing she could have said to me, I just want to reasonably blend in and go about my business. I know I don't "pass," I just want to "blend."

The rest of the afternoon was rounded out with other mundane stops, the drug store for stick on nails and TicTacs, Fred Meyers for on sale dangly earrings and the beauty supply store for a few odds and ends. The young lady at the beauty store helped me find some things and gave me some advice on a foundation primer mentioned on Makeup Geek. As I was checking out, after she swiped my discount card, I handed her my credit card. It has my boy name and the signature line is absolutely worn off. She took a look at the front and the back and said, "OK, your signature looks good, thanks" before I even signed my receipt. I was confused and said, "But it's all worn off and..." Then I realized that she was being sweet and sparing me from showing my drivers license that has a picture of some middle aged balding guy. She looked me in the eye and said pointedly, "I'm sure I've helped you before so I recognize you."  It was just a little thing but it made me feel warmly encouraged that younger people "get it."

Recently I've begun an entertaining mental exercise. When I'm out in guy mode I make a point of watching people and how they react to me. I imagine that I'm dressed and presenting as a woman and try to see if they are "reading me." You'd be amazed how often I get what I would think were judging glances or "hairy eyeballs" when I'm not even trying to be an invisible trans-woman. Try it, you can't help but laugh. Just be careful that you don't start thinking that people are reading you as a transgal when you're in boy drag!

1 comment:

  1. Diane, you are absolutely right. Get calibrated - that wild laugh or funny look happens just as often when you are nothing out of the ordinary. Most folks are just fine. Except the teenage girls, they can be a bit tricksy.