Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Born to be Wild

What a silly thing! I was lounging in the yard today watching the evening creep up when I decided it was time for an adventure. I threw on a sweatshirt, tied up the legs of my cropped pants, put on my "gardening wig" under my helmet and headed off for a cruise on my tiny Chinese scooter. Earrings jangling in the breeze and big dark glasses on and away I went! What Fun!

I usually get a few glances in boy mode on my putt putt machine, not very macho at all, so it was fun to not get a second glance from people on the street. Just some middle aged post hippie gal out enjoying the evening! All I needed was a french bread peeking out of the shopping bag. Very European.

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Love what you don't Like

I play silly games with myself. Maybe you do the same, and maybe not. We have Fiesta Ware plates and bowls and I love the colors. Bright, cheery, vibrant and alive. I love them all, but I just don't like the yellow plates. I don't know why and who cares, I suppose. I've also set a rule for myself to not pick from the middle of the stack. Whatever is on top gets used.

Also, I tend to look at random events and try to read too much in to them. If it's a rainy day, or too hot, and I had planned outdoor activities but have to change plans, I tend to think that there is some message there. I need to learn to be flexible, or I need to see the beauty in the less pleasant weather. If I'm already cranky, I decide that the Fates are against me. Maybe because I had negative thoughts about someone, or I was too attached to a particular outcome. Or maybe because I'm trans...

For a long time I would apply this same thinking to the random event of getting the Yellow Plate. I would think I must be paying for some event or thought. Or that I was not good enough to deserve another color. It became a household joke when I would get the now DREADED Yellow Plate. It began to bother me! Then I began to see that it was a lesson after all. It was an opportunity for me to Let Go of my desires and preferences. I needed to learn the fallacy of attachment to an outcome, especially for something trivial. Now, after many many random plate deals, I kinda like the Yellow Plate. It's now my friend come to visit and it makes me smile.

I made a sandwich tonight. There at the top of the stack was the Yellow Plate, and it's partner the Yellow Cup.

Horray! My favorites have come to visit!

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

CeCe McDonald

I don't know how I feel about this event.  I am very proud of CeCe McDonald and the way she has carried herself through this ordeal. And I'm proud that so many people have shown her such support. And I'm proud that this young woman has taken responsibility for her role in a tragedy. But I am also disheartened, angry and sickened that she will pay with a significant portion of her youth for standing up for herself.

I pray fervently that she can come out of the remainder of this episode with at least a fragment of optimism and positive spirit.

Change We Can Believe In

Recent events have been showing us T folk in a positive light and it is amazing! Look at these things and feel good about where we now are in the world. We have Jenna Talackova as a media sweetheart for standing up to the Miss Universe Pageant, and to Donald Trump by extension (what a bonus!). There is a piece on ABC's "What Would You Do" where an average guy stands up for a trans woman who is being hassled in public. We had a National Geographic special, "Transgender America," that had the most touching and positive presentations of trans people that I think I've ever seen. And Heavens! the Nat Geo special waited for over 45 minutes before showing the trans woman putting on makeup, but even then it was someone putting makeup on her the day of her wedding! It was a story book portrayal instead of the common faintly (or strongly) tabloid views that come up so often.

When we meld this with Chaz Bono, Amanda Simpson being appointed to a senior Commerce Department post, and Mia Macy's landmark Title VII employment rights decision you have got to be positive. All of these things have been showing the general public that we are not "other." That we are just people doing our best to live life as we need to. Isn't that great?

Now here is my new plan to reinforce this change, and it's a page taken right out of a "Big Bang Theory" episode ("The Gothowitz Deviation" if you are just too geeky). Main character Sheldon decides to undertake an experiment where he "trains" the character Penny by giving her chocolates when she exhibits "good" behavior. Then he squirts another character with a water sprayer when he exhibits "bad" behavior. Straight out of the Dog Whisperer!

From now on I'm going to carry a pocket full of chocolates when I'm out and give a treat to anyone who is nice to me! I think it might be safer to forgo the other reinforcement in this operant conditioning project though. I doubt it would help the trans community if I go around squirting people who behave badly.

So if you are out and about and someone comes up to you with an expectant look, like they think you have treats, you may just be running into someone I've been training!