Saturday, June 16, 2012

Ring, Ring...

I am very married. My wonderfully supportive wife and I are going through life's adventures together and helping each other along the way. Our wedding rings are a tangible symbol of this adventure and our goal of helping each other along through the journey.

We came together as full adults each having been married before. Our expectations and assumptions are (hopefully...) a bit more mature because of this. And we both know the power of symbols. Her ring has been passed through my family. It's not gorgeous or modern or flashy, but it has a history and has seen many years. My "Boy Ring" is a simple gold band that has become too large as I've lost weight. I have to be careful that it doesn't fall off if my hands are wet. And the symbolism of that change is not lost on me. A few months ago I bought a simple gold filled, cubic zirconia wedding set that looks better on a lady's hand. Very inexpensive but very appropriate. I make a point to always wear it when I'm out in the world and I very often get complimented on it. Not surprisingly those compliments always come from other women.

And that gets us to the heart of this posting. Women pointedly notice each others rings. They are a symbol of relationships, love, status, and family. A wedding ring announces that you are in the sisterhood. The shop lady, the waitress, the bank teller sees that you are living in the world in a certain way. Honestly, for me, breast forms and hair and makeup are clues to guide people to treat me a certain way. The rings are a deeper symbol that shows what is important in my life. This lovely posting by Lucy brought me to warm tears and touched me very deeply. Two people finding their way through complicated changes while being authentic. Because rings are a symbol to ourselves also. Right there on the hand that opens a door, or holds a glass, or touches the arm of a loved one. It sparkles in the light to remind us of the lights in our lives.

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