Thursday, June 7, 2012

Pearls, Pleasantries and Puzzlement

Here in the North West we have  a chain of grocery/household stores that include a very nice jewelry counter that often has great bargains on good quality sparkly things. I had a coupon for a little pearl and diamond pendant that interested me. I went in to get some groceries and to look at the pendant. After waiting for the shop lady to finish with another customer,  I decided to buy it. While we were “transacting” she and I chatted away. She asked if I was buying it for myself and I said that I was. She insisted that I let her gift wrap it because, “we just don’t give ourselves gifts. We do things for our kids and our friends but we women just don’t take enough care of ourselves.”  She was openly treating me as a sister and an equal. Very affirming! We talked about adult kids and grandchildren and taking care of parents.

While this was going on, over her shoulder, I was watching another woman going past with her cart full of groceries. She stopped in the walkway and openly and blatantly stared at me. Her wide eyed disbelief was as evident as the glaring noonday sun. Her husband caught up with her and she couldn’t wait to clue him in to what she had discovered, and he stared.  I couldn’t help but note the slack jawed shock of the couple and how it contrasted with the lovely bonding with the jewelry counter  lady.  The couple left, doubtless discussing their amazement. The counter lady and I exchanged further pleasantries and we finished up with a gentle handshake and mutual thanks.

I left with an untarnished warm glow and went about my day. Did the counter lady “clock me?” Who cares? She treated me as a co-woman and I treasured it. Did the couple learn anything? Who cares? They were likely shocked by Chaz Bono and Jenna Talackova and left just as puzzled as when they woke up that morning. Oh, and the pendant looks great on a silver chain I got for my birthday.


  1. It sure sounds like you had a terrific day out and about. Isn't it just wonderful how one situation can be perceived in two very different ways?

    I have times when I am not even trying to be my true self and I get ma'amed or lady'ed (don't pay any attention to my spelling). Isn't it just the best lift to your spirits you can get, even if they realize their mistake?



  2. Diane,
    You did not tell us how you were dressed. I presume 'en femme'. If so great. It seems like you had a good day out and about. I am a fan of the concept of 'blending'. I think that many of us feel the need to 'pass'. 'Passing' may never be a 100% proposition and for some of us it does not reach the 50% bar. Most of us, however, can manage to 'blend'. By 'blending' I mean getting out and about while dressed.

    Just getting out while dressed is a great form of outreach. It is outreach to everyone you encounter and everyone who saw you during the outing.

    Clearly you had a positive experience with the sales lady. What you may not realize is the positive impact that you may have had on the 'wide eyed' couple. No one was one ended up cursing at each body got hurt...etc. The wide eyed couple learned that they can weather an encounter with a man dressed as a woman and come away from the encounter no worse for wear.

    Good job.